The Chairman Mao

The Chairman Mao is probably the most disgusting shot that I have ever ordered in my entire life.  It can be purchased (although rarely is) at an Expat Club in Hangzhou called The Vineyard.   The Chairman Mao is the unpalatable combination of (rumor has it) two of Mao Z's favorite things: hot sauce and vodka.

I don't recommend taking a sip of The Chairman Mao.  You know, to sort of brace your taste-buds for the onslaught? The relationship between your tongue and this beverage is not going to get better upon re-acquaintance.  First impression: yuck. So I recommend committing to this shot, and plugging your nose and swallowing the whole thing in one go.  It's as awful as it sounds.

So.
Much.
Burning.

The Chairman Mao....it tastes like poison...and fire. 

Now, you might be thinking: why on earth would any sane human put that combination of things into her body?! Literally, why the hell would you do that?! Especially when the club offers a variety of much more gustatory-ily satisfactory shots (lemon drops anyone?!)  This brings me to the subject of my post today: 'cause why the f**k not?

Guess which face accurately represents the post-Mao feeling? 

No one has stories about the time they almost did something crazy (or stupid or maybe just a little silly).    You don't tell a story about the time you were in a bar with two great friends, discovered this horrible shot, and then didn't take it.  You don't share a story like that, but you do think about it.   You think about that time  you almost did something and didn't.

Now, life is full of choices; you have to say no to some experiences, because you would then be saying yes to other experiences.  But if you are presented with an opportunity to do new things, have new experiences, live a totally new life...why would you ever say no to something like that?

Taking that first big step is the hardest.  Throwing caution to the wind for that first time is the worst.  I am not necessarily talking about packing up your life and moving abroad--it can be something like saying yes to your mother for the first time the one hundredth time she's asked you to come with her and her work friends to lunch.  It can be finally going up with your drunken friends to sing your favorite group jam on karaoke night. It can be running in a marathon. It can be finally starting that book series your best friend has been bugging you about because she, "like totally knows you would looooooooooove it!"  Or taking that new job. Or it can be packing up your life and moving to a new continent.

My point is, that first step is the hardest.  It's filled with all the unknowns.  It is chock full of unpleasant 'what-ifs."  And you can research and prepare, but you can't get rid of that "what-if" induced anxiety.   Because you simply do not know what is going to happen after you take that first step.

And I am not going to lie, not all my experiences abroad have been sunshine and unicorns.  I have had medical emergencies in hospitals .  I have found myself stranded without money. I have missed births, weddings, holidays, and deaths; I have missed home and my loved ones so very badly at times.  I have found myself on different occasions lost, frustrated, and scared....and sometimes alone.

I do not regret a single moment of my choice to live abroad.  Not one single moment.  My decision to come to China, and then subsequently to Bahrain...that is my Chairman Mao.  That is my often unpalatable combination of the unknown and the what-if.  I have seen and done so many things---and met so many truly amazing people--I never would have if I hadn't plugged my nose and took a shot.

Even if there was a lot of somewhat uncomfortable burning.