The Chairman Mao

The Chairman Mao is probably the most disgusting shot that I have ever ordered in my entire life.  It can be purchased (although rarely is) at an Expat Club in Hangzhou called The Vineyard.   The Chairman Mao is the unpalatable combination of (rumor has it) two of Mao Z's favorite things: hot sauce and vodka.

I don't recommend taking a sip of The Chairman Mao.  You know, to sort of brace your taste-buds for the onslaught? The relationship between your tongue and this beverage is not going to get better upon re-acquaintance.  First impression: yuck. So I recommend committing to this shot, and plugging your nose and swallowing the whole thing in one go.  It's as awful as it sounds.

So.
Much.
Burning.

The Chairman Mao....it tastes like poison...and fire. 

Now, you might be thinking: why on earth would any sane human put that combination of things into her body?! Literally, why the hell would you do that?! Especially when the club offers a variety of much more gustatory-ily satisfactory shots (lemon drops anyone?!)  This brings me to the subject of my post today: 'cause why the f**k not?

Guess which face accurately represents the post-Mao feeling? 

No one has stories about the time they almost did something crazy (or stupid or maybe just a little silly).    You don't tell a story about the time you were in a bar with two great friends, discovered this horrible shot, and then didn't take it.  You don't share a story like that, but you do think about it.   You think about that time  you almost did something and didn't.

Now, life is full of choices; you have to say no to some experiences, because you would then be saying yes to other experiences.  But if you are presented with an opportunity to do new things, have new experiences, live a totally new life...why would you ever say no to something like that?

Taking that first big step is the hardest.  Throwing caution to the wind for that first time is the worst.  I am not necessarily talking about packing up your life and moving abroad--it can be something like saying yes to your mother for the first time the one hundredth time she's asked you to come with her and her work friends to lunch.  It can be finally going up with your drunken friends to sing your favorite group jam on karaoke night. It can be running in a marathon. It can be finally starting that book series your best friend has been bugging you about because she, "like totally knows you would looooooooooove it!"  Or taking that new job. Or it can be packing up your life and moving to a new continent.

My point is, that first step is the hardest.  It's filled with all the unknowns.  It is chock full of unpleasant 'what-ifs."  And you can research and prepare, but you can't get rid of that "what-if" induced anxiety.   Because you simply do not know what is going to happen after you take that first step.

And I am not going to lie, not all my experiences abroad have been sunshine and unicorns.  I have had medical emergencies in hospitals .  I have found myself stranded without money. I have missed births, weddings, holidays, and deaths; I have missed home and my loved ones so very badly at times.  I have found myself on different occasions lost, frustrated, and scared....and sometimes alone.

I do not regret a single moment of my choice to live abroad.  Not one single moment.  My decision to come to China, and then subsequently to Bahrain...that is my Chairman Mao.  That is my often unpalatable combination of the unknown and the what-if.  I have seen and done so many things---and met so many truly amazing people--I never would have if I hadn't plugged my nose and took a shot.

Even if there was a lot of somewhat uncomfortable burning.

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunch

Every Friday in Bahrain, at all the major hotels have something called Brunch.  This is more than simply a meal that is too early for lunch and too late for breakfast; that's just regular old lower-case brunch.  This is different; this is Brunch with a capital B.

Brunch is sort of the Middle East's cutting loose. Now, Bahrain, unlike many of its more conservative neighbors is not a dry country.  There is a lovely little (slightly sketchy from the outside) widowless store behind the Gulf Hotel that sells all manner of libations, for very resonable prices.  That being said, its not exactly a open-containerless, stumble about town kind of environment either.

So, as a compromise, we have Brunches.  To attend a brunch, you pay about 50$ USD (prices vary depending on the quality/reputation of the establishement and whether or not you want alcohol to be a part of your day.)  The Brunches typially begin around 11am and end around 4pm.  For these five hours, you spend your time in an environment of unlimited food and booze.

It's like a frat boys wet dream.

Unlimiiiiiiited. 

Wonder-bar-keep plus batman challenge equals this face. 

 You literally sit around with your friends, eating as much as you can, while a man behind the bar hands you a new glass every time you run empty.  The most challenging part of the event becomes navigating through the mounds of food to get back and forth from the bar without tripping.

And I am not talking about your average, every day kind of fare.  The food is fantastic.  Meat cooked to order (and every kind of possible meat you could want: beef, lamb, chicken, pork--you name it, they'll cook it for you).  Fish and every manner of seafood--I had sushi! And it's not just fried shrimp; we're talking about all manner of fancy sea foods; I had oysters and what-not.  There was a whole room dedicated just too cheese. A freaking room of cheese.

Look at all that food! I am sorry I don't have more pics of the food.  Because it took up several rooms and covered all manner of land and sea creatures.  And every kind of carb known to man.  I do have video, buuuut, its not the best (free booze, people, you do the math). 

This is the cheese room. 

And do not get me started on the deserts.  They were amazing.  We are talking tarts, cakes, puddings, pastries, fruit, custards--in the cutest darn arrangements, it was like "do I eat this or do I just take a thousand pictures of it 'cuz its so damn cute?!"

The Movenpick, home of not just one, but two chocolate fountains. 

LOOK AT ALL THE ADORABLE DESERT!!

Any one who visits me will be taken to a brunch and that's that.