Sky Diving and Other Terrifying Things

A good friend of mine once told me that my life was governed by fear and she wished that would change.

It was one of those statements that hits you full in the solar plexus.  After knocking the breath out of you it worms your way up past your heart and settles deep in your brain.  You deny this thought and you bury it deep in the layered, complex organ that is the brain and try to forget about it.  But inevitably, throughout the course of events, it pops up again, shorting out your mental circuits and bringing you to a cognitive halt.  You examine that statement for truths; reflect on if the events in your life either live up to the statement or refute it, and then you do your best to bury it again. You reboot the system, and continue with the status quo.

As I said, thoughts like these do not stay buried, and they refuse to leave you in peace; you eventually have to take that statement out of your mental vault, sit down with a good cup of tea (or gin), and examine the truth in it that is making those words impossible to forget in the first place.

It turns out this good friend of mine was right. Fear did rule my life.
Fear of disappointing people.
Fear of letting people down.
Fear of failure.
Fear of doing the wrong thing or making the wrong choice.
Fear of spiders, heights, and large social gatherings.

Well, a little more than a year ago, I decided to try and stop this.  You can't help being afraid of things.  But you can help how much you let that fear influence your decision making.  Or deciding not to allow it to affect your peace of mind.  And that is the change I was determined to make.

I can't say I've been 100% successful.  If my life has been governed by fear, well that governing body has been ruling the system unchecked for 28 years, so change is gradual.  Like saying "no" when I don't want to do something instead of agreeing to do it just because I am afraid of disappointing someone.

And then sometimes this change is a tad drastic.  Which is why in a few weeks I will be throwing myself out of a perfectly good airplane (blog post about that will follow--hopefully) strapped to the back of a professional, and attached to a parachute (and probably just a little drunk).

Am I excited about this? Yes. And also no.  I am terrified.  I am omgomgomgomg-what-am-i-doing-piss-my-pants-terrified.  But it's something I've been thinking about doing for a few years now (actually, ever since my sister told me that I would never do it--implying that I was too afraid.  Or maybe her statement was implication-free, but that's the message I received).  So when one of my co-workers mentioned wanting to go, and I mentioned a similar desire, we booked it.  It's happening. Because I refuse to be too afraid to do it.  Maybe that's stupid.  The Fear agrees that it is stupid.

I'm not going to lie, if I were to do something this terrifying again, I would probably not book it two months in advance.  Two months to wonder what the hell I was thinking.  Two months to tempt me into backing out of it.  Two months for the Fear to make some pretty compelling arguments.  Two months for the Fear to win.

I am not sure (being several weeks from the jump) who will win.  Me or Fear. (hopefully not gravity). I'll keep you posted.

Living on a Tropical Desert Island

Since moving to Bahrain, there has been a lot that has been a challenge, particularly in terms of climate/geography, but also, a lot that I really like.  Here is a list of a few of them.

1.  I am from Syracuse, NY. The snowiest city in all of America.  The one that just broke a record low temperature this past February.  The place that is a cold miserable desolate tundra from November to April. That place.

So I am going to say that my number one favorite thing about living in Bahrain is that it has not dipped below 62 degrees all year.  My birthday is in March.  And while my birthday activities usually include being wrapped in animal skins and huddling in doors around flames, I am went to the beach this year.  And not to cross country ski, either (because that's a thing the people of CNY do at beaches, and pretty much all a beach is good for until mid-spring).  This year I sat in the sun and quite literally basked in 70 plus weather.

The previous month I ended every social media post in #flipflopfebruary (obnoxious on several levels, I know).

On the sweatier side of this perk, is July, a month that does not get below 95 degrees, even at night. Bahrain, despite being a desert, also likes to sport 100% humidity almost all year.  This means that I go outside once or twice every few days and has (almost) got me missing mid-December New York. Plus boots have no practical application here, which makes fall fashion somewhat of a bummer.

I have a whole other context for heat.  The warmest month in the whole year for CNY is going to be at least 20 degrees cooler than the temperature of Bahrain at the same time.  The average high in July in NY is 80.  The average high in July in Bahrain? 100.  It has been known to be as high as 110.

Oh, you know.  Just a billion degrees out, nbd. 

2. Which I guess leads me to my next observation.  Bahrain's climate is largely desert, although with the humidity I cannot actually call it arid, but since it never rains...it's climate is confusing.  The main point of this is since it never rains the predominant color of the place is taupe. Sand colored.  Brown. To make matters duller, the majority of the buildings are painted brown so as not to show the dirt. We don't have rain often, but we do have dust storms (sand storm's younger, less threatening cousin), which pelts the buildings with sand, prompting most property owners to paint their buildings shades of tan so all that sand doesn't show.  I suppose this is smart, but it makes for a really really uniform landscape.  I am pretty sure when I land in the States my eyes are going to be overwhelmed by the sheer variety of colors--don't be surprised if I am just looking dazedly around at my surroundings drinking in the color.

Not the end of the world, just a dust storm.  I mean, the shades of tan makes sense,when you are hit with this fairly regularly.  The picture far to the left is about 9 in the morning sunshine trying to burst through all that dust. 

On the other hand, it makes giving directions sometimes really easy.  For example, the odd property owner that chooses fly in the face of the taupe trend.  Friends of mine live in an apartment building behind the blue house.  There is literally only one blue house anywhere near where I live.  So it's like, super easy to find.  Now, if you live no where near an outstanding landmark, directions are actually really difficult.  It makes matters worse in that few of the smaller streets are actually named, instead the road numbers and block numbers just have numbers.  So its like, oh, I live in the brown apartment building in Hidd on block 9759, off of road 2232. Good luck, look for the smoke signals.

Who knew tan could come in so many shades?  The sky is pretty though, and it's always this color (except during a dust storm). 

3.  All that tan does have an upside however, and leads to my next point.  You see a large contributing factor to that tan-everything is all that sand.  Sand equals beach...and everything is covered in sand which means everything can be a beach.  It literally all looks like beach.  Now, being a more conservative society, not all this real estate is used as beaches, but beaches exist and can be found relatively easily.  And get this: there really isn't a time where you can't go to the beach (please see previous points).  Like, it really is never too cold for the beach.  Let me just say this again: beach twenty-four seven, three hundred and sixty five days.

Look at all this beach!

4.  You know what happens when you live on an island the size of Onondaga county?  Or rather, a little smaller, actually.  Well, you never get lost.  I mean at first, sure, you get a little lost, but after you've been here a few minutes, what's going to happen? You drive around enough and you are going to be back somewhere you recognize. Because it's just not that big.  You literally cannot get lost.  I suppose the only fatal mistake you might make is if you wind up on the causeway leading to Saudi, and there are a LOT of signs warning you about that, so you got plenty of "turn the heck around" opportunities.

You also rarely have to factor in travel time to your daily plans (as long as you are avoiding rush hour, because a tiny island with a million people makes for heinous rush hour traffic).  I mean, let's face it, it's not going to take you long to get anywhere because there is just not much of it traverse.

On the flip side of this, you can go ahead and scratch road trips off your list of things to do on a long weekend.  You wanna travel?  You are taking a plane.  You have no choice--where ever you are going to go, you are going to have to fly there.  As someone who is used to hopping in a car (or in China, a train) and taking a nice long little weekend trip to a whole other climate zone, this feels restricting.  On the bright side, however, it does encourage "go big or go home" attitude towards travel.  I mean, if you're flying anyway, you might as well vacation in Tokyo...or Capetown...or Helsinki.

There are some solid pros and cons for living on a tropical desert island, and personally I am about evenly split 50/50 on this climate closing in on the end of my first year here.  I mean, there basically is no winter, there is just a time of about 3 months where you can comfortably be outside without immediately sweating out all of your bodies water reserve and needing to shower immediately after returning home.  The lack of winter is a huge plus.  The needing to shower multiple times per day is a pretty large negative.  The fact that Bahrain is so small, with a large expat community, means anything I might need in my daily life is pretty conveniently located within 10 minutes of me is a huge plus (particularly compared to the struggle-fest that was China).  The fact that traveling anywhere is something that is meticulously planned and will include airfare is sort of a bummer. Anywho, I am willing to give it a couple more years to decide where I all on topical desert island spectrum.

From Coffee to Tea: A Caffeine Odyssey

Pre-travel me was not a big tea drinker.  It was pretty much just coffee.  Not that I don't still love coffee, but post-travel me acknowledges that pre-travel me had no idea what the hell she was missing.

Since leaving China I have been in deep mourning for milk tea, specifically Coco's Milk Tea, a beverage chain from Japan.  For those you who are not familiar with milk tea, I both am piteous of you, and equally envious.  I pity that you have never had the ambrosia that is this extra sweet, perfect blend of milk ,sugar, and tea.  I also envy the fact that you don't have to live your lives without it, having tasted it.  Milk tea comes iced or hot, and it is a black tea mixed with large amounts of condensed milk and sugar, with an option to add tapioca pearls to it (bubbles).  It's sweet, caffeinated, delicious and terrible for you; I love it.

For those of you that live in China, Japan, Taiwan, NYC, or San Francisco, do me a favor?  Go to your local Coco's and order their bubble tea and drink one, for me.  Thank you, and also I hate you, just a little.

Now, despite the desperation in the above paragraphs, I had pretty much resigned myself to never have this beverage ever again.  I'd gotten pretty zen about it--I had it while I had it and I loved it and now it's gone.  The end. Dwelling would be pointless.

The one and only CoCo's. 

Well, I have encountered recently milk tea's Arabic cousin: Karak.  And its just about the greatest thing since...well, since milk tea.

Karak Chai (literally strong tea) is popular in the Gulf region, although its origins lie in India and South East Asia, and is also referred to as Masala Chai.  The flavor varies by region, depending on the types of spices added, and the the mount of each spices.  Here in Bahrain (and elsewhere) cardamom is the prevalent spice (among many others my uncultured taste-buds cannot discern other than to appreciate its combination as a whole).  It is blended with spices, condensed milk, and a ton of sugar.  And next to milk tea, it's the best thing ever.  I actually think if you poured it over tapioca bubbles, I could die happily.

The best thing about this tea is that just down the road (because everything is basically just down the road in Bahrain--its a very small island) there are several Karak places.  And the best thing about many of these stands is that all you need to do is roll up, park (or double park...or just pull slightly over to the side and throw on your hazards), lean out the window and wave your carafe.  This will alert one of the employees to your desperate need for Karak.  He will come over and take the carafe and for about 2.35$ refill the whole darn thing.  And then you drive away to wherever you are going and enjoy your Karak.  If you are not feeling like a Karak-starved maniac, you can also order a single cup.  Which, diabetically speaking, might be the better option anyway.

You drive up, you shout over, they brink you tea, you bring your tea home...victorious. 

I don't think I've met anyone who dislikes it yet.  I was initially concerned because cardamom is not my favorite spice, but it just works.  I would not leave Bahrain without trying this tea.  And dang, but I am going to miss it when I eventually leave.

Speed Bumps Are the New Stop Signs

In China, we did not drive.  In fact, I can think of only two times, in the whole time I was there, that I was not going from Point A to Point B (bicycling/walking not included) in some form of public (bus, taxi, rickshaw) transportation.   And honestly, I didn't really feel that something was missing from my life.  Sure, I missed my car, and I missed driving...but if you've ever seen the traffic in China, well you'd understand.  I had no desire (or need--public transportation rocks there) to drive in China.


Well, in terms of desire, Bahrain is pretty much the same.  I do not want to drive in this land.  However, public transportation here?  Not really a thing.  Yeah, they're taxis, but you have to call them, they are not just littering the streets, loitering, practically waiting outside your apartment complex just for you (as they are in China).  Buses are not really popular.   So in terms of need, you sort of need to be able to drive if you want to feel like you have any mobility or independence on this island.

Thankfully, renting a car, particularly when you start working with a bunch of other newly arrived teachers, is quite simple.  Everyone is looking to rent a car and no one really wants to take on the entire financial burden themselves, at least not initially.  I began renting a red Nissan Tilda with four other teachers, for about $100 dollars per month per person, insurance included.  Which, when  you think about rental companies in the States, this not bad at all.  If you are American, you basically just need to apply for a Bahraini driver's license and they pretty much just give it to you. You can drive with your American one for the first 3 months anyway.   Also, filling up your gas tank in Bahrain?  About $13 dollars.

Now, I know what you've got to be thinking right about now (especially if you thinking about the soaring gas prices): what is this girl complaining about?!  Well, let me tell you a little bit about driving in Bahrain.

1.  These are some of the most aggressive drivers I have ever encountered.  Imagine everyone on the road is a New York City cab driver.   These guys take no prisoners when they are driving.  There is no right of way; it's whoever has the biggest stones to wedge their car in that space first and then not blink (or budge) as others try and push their way in.  If you are going to make a move (change a lane, try to budge into a crowded lane in high traffic, etc), you just got to do it--any hesitation means you are not getting in that lane. Like you know that two foot gap you leave between you and the car in front of  you when stopped at a light?  Yeah, someone will come careening up to you at a breakneck speed and angle the nose of their car into that space, the rest of their car parallel to yours and about a layer of paint away. Signalling is not really a thing; a signal only seems to be turned on when trying to budge your way into a lane does not work (like when they edge in and you are all like, "oh heeeell, no" and proceed to inch up closer to the bumper of the guy in front of you). And no one is afraid to liberally utilize their horns...for any reason. Driving here requires nerves of steel and blood pressure medication.  And an ability to adapt and to tap into latent aggression. Check.

2.  Speed bumps are the new stop sign.  There are very few honest-to-goodness stop signs in this land  Instead, to slow people down at the intersection that is too small for a traffic light, but too busy to just leave alone, we have the speed bump.   These are not your average speed bump.  They are huge. If you go over these much over 10-15 mph you are going to seriously bottom out your car (this is really easy to do, especially at night when you cannot always see them).

Now, these work, for the most part, to slow people down and allow people a chance to complete a turn at those medium-traffic intersections.  However, at intersections without speed bumps (stop signs are ignored), it's pretty much every-man-for-himself chaos.  Again, the person who is going to get where they are going first is the one that is the most aggressive.  There is no allow-the-person-to-your-right to go first nonsense when you both pull up to an intersection.  Sometimes two people of equal parts aggression will go at the same time, getting in each others way, and in general mucking up traffic, until they manage to squeeze past each other by about a centimeter.

3.  Parking.  Unless it is specifically marked that you cannot park there, then pretty much anywhere is a potential parking space.  This means that many of the side streets are lined with parked cars.  Parked cars, particularly when making turns at these speed-bump-controlled intersections, make perfect covers for oncoming traffic (and the occasional jaywalking pedestrian).  They also have a tendency to narrow the streets considerably (and some of these back streets cannot really afford to be narrowed).  This means that if you are on one of these narrowed streets and someone is headed towards you (because they are two-way streets, technically) you get to play this game where you sort of squish your car into any available space (or really, really close to those parked cars on the side of the street).  You then sort of hold your breath as you slip past each other by about a nano-meter.

4. Roundabouts.  I know (like pretty much all of these) that the complete and utter confusion inspired by the roundabout is a completely American problem.  Or maybe it's just mine.  But back home, we don't have very many roundabouts.  This means that we (or, at least I) have no idea how to drive in one.  Particularly during heavy traffic, a relatively small roundabout, and some very aggressive drivers.  Every time I enter one of these I pretty much forget everything I have ever learned about driving and I just get out and hope that the exit I manage to make it to first is the one that I need.

However frustrating (and sometimes terrifying) these four things are, they are all my problems.  The drivers on the road?  They are doing things right--they are simply driving the way that is driven in Bahrain.  I am the problem, because I am the the one that is used to driving in different circumstances.  But I'm learning.  I also apologize in advance for anyone on the road with me when I return to the States.

I am so sorry I don't have any photos/videos of this,because its something to see.  But hey, I'm driving people, not on my phone.